I was raised in a conservative household somewhere in what I would call "Suburban Hell" (Not saying Hell was bad but if you can relate to 75% of the topics in "Mean Girls" then you know what I'm talking about.)
We had 3 rules in our house:
#1 Thow shalt not watch the Simpsons.
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| I called him "CastleHead" and my mom said they were "disrespectful" |
#2 Thow shalt not wear thy shoes in the house.
(dirty carpet)
#3 Thow shalt not move in with a boy before they are married.
So...needless to say when I was about 22 and in a serious relationship rule #3 came rushing back to me as if my mother came to me in my dreams like Gabriel came to Mary; however, since it was 2005 and NOT 1957 I had a bit of a dilemma, let me explain...
About 2 months after graduating from college I got a job on the side of town where my boyfriend (BF) lives. Just a side note....it was the epitome of a bachelor pad..crappy futon, dirty dishes, and one disgusting roommate (I mean I think he just fluffed he Starbucks uniform in the dryer after spraying it with Febreeze a couple of times and that was his idea of doing "laundry"...so gross.) The nastyass roommate was moving out and my friend who I had lived with before was getting married and buying a house with her fiance. My only other option was to move back in with my mom and face the 1hr, each way, commute for work. NOT HAPPENING! All roads led to moving in with the BF.
Q: Was I ready?
A: Absolutely not.
Q: Did I know what I was doing?
A: Hell No
Q: Did I think we could get married someday?
A: Maybe, but the ring better be big and he better not work on the Geek Squad by then.
Now, understand that I was not your typical "party my face off" 22 year old. I had some of those days in college but I was ready to start my "Big Girl Job" and move on. So....I guess what I'm trying to say to all you young people out there (is anyone listening to me???) Think long and hard about what you are doing before melding your life together with another person. It seems all fun like you're 8 again and playing house with the gay next door neighbor boy....but IT'S NOT. This stuff is REAL. It's like you are about find out all that shit you hope you never know about another person and they are going to find out all of your insecurities (like how you think you're fat ALL THE TIME, how you are a complete OCD neat freak, and not to mention your expectations and his expectations will NEVER be the same.) Basically here is my opinion in a nutshell:
#1) If you KNOW you are ready to move in...just get married. It is the SAME thing. Not saying rush into something but I could have just gotten that over with like 3 years ago, can you say "Wedding Registry"? No really though...looking back now I wasn't ready. (Enter mom with a halo saying "I told you so")
#2) If you're not ready for that then DON'T DO IT. Let me re-iterate...It IS the SAME thing as being married. Oh, and you say...well I'm not ready and it's like a "trial" to see if I'm ready....BS, once you make that move there is no turning back and if you do it's not easy, why open yourself up to venerability?...you don't get half for moving out, just sayin.
Everyone's situation is unique and you could end up lucky (like me, haha) but I would caution anyone who is considering this. Anyway, I'm open to your comments....suggestions...etc.
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| Kick Ass wedding shoes (I will wear them in MY house now if I want to mom.) |
